I swear I meant it when I said I wanted to write regularly.
In the middle of July, I bought myself this domain name as a way of encouraging myself to write more. I wanted to hone my craft a little, and maybe even connect with friends and other people around the world. From July 13th until July 30th, I think I did just that. I published 5 different pieces in the time, some I was even happy with.
Then, right after my birthday, I quit. I had ideas for stuff to write about, but when the time would come to actually grab my laptop, I’d watch television instead. Or read a book. Or check out Facebook and Twitter on my phone. Or eat. Anything to avoid actually writing. Why do I do that?
Well, for one thing, I’m lazy. Really lazy. I think I’ve always been this way. I’m practically a hermit, for one thing, and most all activities I’ve ever involved myself with outside of my house I end up quitting. So, on top of being lazy, I’m also a quitter. It’s a bad combination.
Secondly, it’s tough for me to work up the desire to write when I know I’m going to repeat the very opinions in my head on the upcoming episode of Strange Frequencies Radio. Podcasting with my friend Bobby is one of the few things I actually enjoy, and while I think I express myself much better in writing, I end up thinking, “Why write about this when you’re just going to talk about it on the show Sunday?” And that is typically the end of that.
Finally, and maybe stupidest of all, is that I don’t often think I have anything important to say. Or, if I do, I figure someone else can and will say it better. So, why should I bother? My opinion is dumb, everyone will hate me if I express it, so maybe I’ll let someone else smarter than me do it. That’s basically the thought process.
This all sounds like whining. It probably is. If I had a friend who used these excuses I’d tell them to knock it off. “Yeah,” I’d tell them, “you are pretty damn lazy, that’s true. But you can at least put the Cheetos down once a week, or every other week, and post something, can’t you? It doesn’t have to be some Homeric epic, dude, just put a little something together.”
I’d keep going at them. “As far as this podcast you do interfering with your desire to get your thoughts in writing goes, you can knock that off, too. You’re just looking for an excuse. Use the blog as a way to clarify the thoughts in your head. That way, come Sunday, you’ll be able to express yourself more clearly. You’ve been saying you want to be a better speaker, right? Well, this could help!”
That’s when they would start in with the “yeah, but…” and I’d say, “No ‘yeah but!’ Hush! You have to knock it off with this self-doubt stuff, man. Are your opinions going to change the world? Probably not. But, who cares? Don’t sell yourself short. You put a lot of thought into the things you believe, which is more than a lot of people do. Plus, even when you express an opinion that may not be popular, or that may aggravate someone, you tend to have a way of saying it in a non-threatening manner. You don’t get in people’s faces about it. If anything, you tend to ask questions instead of making assertions, and that’s a cool way to avoid being unnecessarily confrontational. So, do more of that. Find out where the other person is coming from first. Understand their perspective. Listen to them. Then, offer your opinion as another way of looking at the situation. Will it change their mind? Maybe not. Will your own mind change? I don’t know. But it’s a good way to keep the conversation going. That should be the point.”
That’s when my friend would thank me for the advice and say, “You really do understand me.” And I’d say, “Of course I do, nitwit. Isn’t it obvious I’m really just talking about myself here? That you are actually me? And that the last part of this blog entry has just been me giving myself advice?”
See, I had this idea earlier that I’d encourage myself to write more by writing about why I don’t write more. I’ve just done it. How about that? Maybe I should do stuff like this more often.
Eh, I don’t know. I tend to get pretty lazy. We’ll just have to wait and see, okay?